Are you carrying baggage from something in your past? Of course you are. We all are.

Have you ever watched a superhero movie or TV show (or read a comic!) and the hero gets hurt by something and it sends him or her down a winding path towards becoming the “dark” version of themselves? Yah. The prime example of this, in my mind, is playing out with admittedly tedious repetition on the CW show Arrow. And I mean, I love that show, but man, Oliver is really good at this superhero martyrdom stuff.

In any case, there comes a time in everyone’s life where someone is going to hurt you. Sometimes, that hurt will be accidental. The person in question won’t mean to cause you harm, but they’ll do it anyway. And that will hurt.

But sometimes, in all likelihood, someone will hurt you on purpose. And, oh, my darlings, that will hurt. I wish I could protect you all from it. Because when you learn that someone has hurt you purposefully, the pain in your chest will overwhelm you. It will drown you. The waves of pain will wash over you, filling your lungs and chest. Purposeful hurt is unavoidable, betraying, overwhelming.

Somehow, though, if you’re lucky, you’ll learn to forgive the hurt you’ve been dealt.

Slowly, with conscious , deliberate, small steps, you’ll turn to face the onslaught, and then, you will find yourself not bowled over by it, but standing tall. And then, you’ll find yourself moving through it, beyond it.

Sometimes, you won’t recover from it completely. Sometimes, it will change the path of your life. That’s ok.

You can’t carry it around for long, my loves.

How can you swing your lasso of truth, use your super strength, throw your shield, throw a punch, or use super speed if you are clinging to an entire suitcase of hurt? Not us, superheroes.

We’re gonna put that down. Even -or especially- if the person who’s hurt you doesn’t apologize. You get to step up, and be the bigger person.

Get inside what the other person was feeling. Where did the hurt come from? It’s almost never “just to hurt you”. Usually, it’s indicative of a bigger problem with that person.

Wounded animals lash out. And we are just human animals. Whoever hurt you? I bet they’re hurting. That doesn’t give them an excuse. It will help you to understand.

And once you understand, I think you’ll find that the sting has gone out of the wound. It just doesn’t hurt as bad anymore. It may be disappointing, exhausting, frustrating. But the sting will be gone.

And once you can start to forgive, life becomes… easier. You’ll sleep better, be in a better mood, be more open to new experiences and relationships. You’ll have the mental capacity to be a more full person, and I think that’s so worth it.


Superhero action of the day: start unpacking your suitcase. Who do you need to forgive?

1 Comment

  1. Charis, this is one of my favorite topics! “Bitterness forms the bars of your own jail.” Or this one, “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for your enemy to die.” (Nelson Mandela, I think.) Thanks for causing people to think. I like your blog.


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