I have a confession to make. When I found out that I wasn’t going to have a lot of work commitments this Summer, I was preliminarily excited. I was coming off a really long, work intensive and exhausting school year, and I was ready for a rest. I started thinking about all of the things I could do over my break- starting this blog, launching my professional online presence, learning new skills, working on my sewing skills, planning for next year, drumming up more work the coming season.
It’s July fourth, and I’m in a rut.
In fact, I was talking to someone about it today, and she suggested it sounded a lot like depression. She’s not wrong. It does sound a lot like depression. And to be honest? I’m struggling. I haven’t gotten very much done- most of my projects haven’t progressed past the prep stage. I’m sleeping erratically, eating erratically and watching an absolutely ridiculous amount of Netflix.
There have been extenuating circumstances. Funerals. Friends that need me. Weddings. And I underestimated how exhausted I was.
But now it’s becoming pretty clear, I’m feeling stuck and unmotivated. I know I should do more, but I find myself simply unwilling to get off my couch and do it.
And that, my friends, is frustrating. I’ve always considered myself highly effective. I have systems. I am efficient. I meal plan and prep and pack. I schedule my life down to the minute. I make lists.
But those systems only work when I’m very busy. When I only have four or five hours of requirements for an entire week… why should I bother to meal plan? When I have that much free time, it becomes easy to put off things I should do in favor of a longer walk, or a nap.
I’m not sure what to tell you. I’m going to keep trying to push through. My plan for tomorrow is to get up and put in a full work day… away from my couch and Netflix subscription.
So if you’ve also got a set of the Mid-Summer blues, I’m here with you. I am sure it will pass. But in the mud, here in the rut, it’s hard. I get it. We’ll do it together.