You know what one of the hardest things in the whole world is?
Being vulnerable. Telling your truth. Especially when you aren’t proud of what you have to say.
Being vulnerable. Especially when you’re scared.
Being vulnerable. When you’re used to being strong.
Being vulnerable. When you’re ashamed.
Being vulnerable. Like, ever.
This week, I’ve had to face a couple of hard truths. The biggest one, of course, I shared with you all last night. And that was hard. I didn’t start this blog to be a downer. I started it to encourage and help people. But I also started it to be honest. I started it to practice my own vulnerabilities. I started it to be brave. I started the blog to be a superhero.
But then I realized something.
You know how in the comics or tv shows, sometimes something bad happens to the hero, or, more frequently his (why are they always men?) love interest, and the hero goes to some scary, dark place, pushes every one away and goes strong and silent? And if you’re anything like me, you scream at the page or the screen and say “YOU MORON, let them HELP YOU. You can’t DO THIS ALONE, DON’T TRY.” And then they go off and do it anyway?
Or, even worse, someone you care about in your life pulls that crap? Won’t let you help with something? Insists on doing it him/herself? Whatever it is- and whomever? And you fume and rage and think, STOP IT, LET ME HELP WITH THIS. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Well. I realized recently that I was doing the same thing. Maybe not quite as dramatically (at least, I hope), but it certainly has been affecting the way I behave.
So, in the interest of being brave, I’m trying to be vulnerable about my struggles. Because that’s a big part of being brave for me. So I hope you’ll bear with me! This is part of my superhero training.
I know the struggles will pass. I know that I have an entire village of people itching to help. But I also know that shame dies in a petri dish of honesty. So vulnerable honesty is what we’ll go with. Even when it’s difficult.
Superhero action of the day: find something you’re afraid of talking about. And share it with someone. Tell them how you feel. You can do it! I believe in you.