Can I just tell you- sometimes life is so hard. And even when it’s good, it’s still… like, expert level. And sometimes we’re just not ready for expert level, right? Sometimes I could use some time on beginner mode.And the truth is that life- like most things- is rarely all good or all bad. Sure, we all have stormy periods. Times when it seems like nothing will ever go right. But for the most part, life is more complicated then that. Some days are amazing, some are terrible, most are less exciting. Parts of your life are going so well- and other parts are crumbling. And it’s hard to know how to feel about that. I’m really happy with my career right now… but my home life is struggling. I’m feeling really close to some of the people in my life… but I have a few relationships that are struggling- either in their own lives or in our relationship.
Sometimes it’s hard to know which way is up.
And I think that’s why most people don’t meet their goals.
I don’t think it is because they are lazy, or because they just didn’t want it bad enough. I don’t think it’s that they don’t set good goals. It’s the minutiae of everyday life that will get in the way of greatness. I was joking around this fall with my mom about understanding why important and famous people have personal assistants. I want one, and I’m not famous and only of marginal overall importance. But man, the stuff I could get done! How productive could I BE with a personal assistant and a maid? It boggles the mind. It seems as if my days get so cluttered up with the day to day tasks of being an adult I hardly have any room left for superhero-ing. And I don’t just mean blogging. I love the writing, but more importantly, I want to practice what I teach. If I’m sharing recipes with you, I want to have tried them and verified that they are, in fact, amazing. If I’m posting ways to keep your house clean, wouldn’t it be magical if mine was?
If I’m talking about meal planning… shouldn’t I be doing just that?
If I’m setting goals, and encouraging you to do so… what happens if week after week… I don’t hit mine?
Does that make me a hypocrite? Ineffective? A failure?
I don’t think so. People will tell you life is a journey. So if we keep with that metaphor, then really, you can’t fail at it. There will be times where the road is smoother than others. There will be times when the going is easier, there are plenty of rest stops and a great playlist. And there will be times when you miss your turn, lose your way, the car breaks down, you get car sick, or run out of snacks.
It’s all ok.
The biggest fix for this, I think, is to try to live fully in every moment, and not worry too much about the long term result. Being goal oriented is wonderful. Being single minded is… tricky sometimes.
But also- cut your day to day clutter. This is a message to myself as much as anyone else. But if you can make life easier, do that for yourself. Use subscription services. Use a crock pot. (Or Instapot, I have my eye on that one!) Find the balance.
And also, know when to be gentle with yourself. That’s ok too. Some days you’re an Amazon warrior, slaying goals and taking names.
Other days you’re going to need to sit quietly and say “ok. Maybe tomorrow”. And that’s ok too.
So the number one reason people don’t fulfill their goals?
Life. Life gets in the way. But the people that do meet them? They find ways to blend the two.